Pieces of My Life

Because Life Needs Updating Too . . . .

2012-02-07T01:15:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time, life has simply been crazy. With the new semester in full swing, I have found time is precious and what little there is divided in between homework, sleeping, and eating. I am enjoying my 3D animation class, I can't wait until we get to the organic modeling section. I have a very cool idea for a character that I want to revive from a novel that I was planning on writing never got around to. Whether or not I actually take the daunting task on of modeling the character is yet to be determined.

My other four classes just blur into a swirl of "Do I have to?"s. My two GE classes (Music 1010 and Understanding Film) are mostly boring and the assignments and homework are unfulfilling. My PHP scripting class is going to be hard and not in the direction of where I want my career to go, so I do my best to just face its daily drudgery. My eCommerce class is vague and really a business class, not an IT class. Most of the time I don't feel like I really understand what's going on.

I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself this summer. I don't really want another summer like the last one, all I did was play video games while living at home. I felt kinda like a loser. I thought about applying for an internship in Salt Lake City but I wouldn't have anywhere to live for sure and they don't usually pay enough to pay for rent and food and still make a profit. I thought about staying in St. George for the summer and finding an apartment for the summer and my senior year but I don't have a job for summer and I don't know how many places would only want me for three months. So I guess what happens, happens and will not happen any other way.

Anywho, I will leave you with a photo and a video. The photo is of my new Beyerdynamic)))) DT 880 headphones that I'm listening to right now! They are $300 headphones and I got them, brand new, for just over $150. It's almost criminal!

That's right, these headphones have fuzzy earpads!

That's right, the whole box is made out of aluminum, that beats even Apple's packaging!
And since the box is in German, you know it must be good!

This video is my 3D animation class assignment where we had to do camera motion. I decided to go the most epic thing I could come up with. Be sure your speakers are on! Without sound it's rather boring and normal.

Fun fact: The city consists of 144 blocks, that's 576 buildings. The project file was almost 1GB.

A Moment . . . .

2011-11-21T17:34:00.001-08:00

Work is slow tonight. Since tomorrow is the last day class before Thanksgiving break, it is not surprising in the least. I am very excited for Thanksgiving this year. Mostly for the reason that I will get to eat real pumpkin pie! And seeing the family is also nice. :P

Christmas is just around the corner too. I have been holding off on the Christmas music until after Thanksgiving though. I'm not a very big fan of department stores that start blasting "Jingle Bell Rock" over the intercom on October 1st. Since I worked in a grocery store for two years, I had to suffer with the early "Christmas Spirit". By the time Christmas actually rolled around I was so sick of Christmas music that I couldn't tolerate listening to it and it made me look like a grinch. Since then my philosophy has been wait til Thanksgiving to break out the Christmas tunes so I can enjoy the season when it actually is the season and not weeks beforehand.

I went and saw the hypnotist Friday night. He comes to DSC every year and has for the past seventeen. This was the first time I went and it was absolutely HILARIOUS!!! After it was over, my face hurt from so much laughing! Me and two of my friends went and hit up Denny's afterwards and it turned out to be one of the best nights I have had in a long time.

My photography class has ended up being a tougher class that I originally thought it would be. It makes me glad that I can take 200 pictures of the same thing trying to get the exposure right without wasting rolls and rolls of film.

Well, my shift is now over so I bid you adue!

Bric-a-Brac From My Life . . . .

2011-10-26T22:22:00.000-07:00

I feel like my readers have been robbed of my Bloggity goodness lately, so I will update! Life has been crazy busy (hence, perfect excuse for not updating), but rewarding. Been doing really well in my 3D class. We are working on a soda can, complete with original label and fully modeled pop top. It's a handful of an assignment to say the least. The assignment before that we did a 3D globe which we then had to place in a picture.

Here is mine.

I think it turned out alright, but I'm not totally happy with it. It looks kinda boring and I still don't think I got the perspective right even though I played with it for an hour or more.

I have been very busy taking pictures too! The assignment I have been working isn't working out and is making me frustrated but the other ones have been good.

Here is an everyday object in the abstract! Can you guess what it is a picture of? If you know, comment the answer! No! This isn't a cheap way to get comments! ; )

For the current project I have took some nice pictures (none of the 330 I have taken will work : ( which is why I'm frustrated). Here are a few.

Well those were probably the ones that turned out best. Hope you enjoyed looking at them!

On a side note, I went to my first concert! It was a Yellowcard concert that was hosted by Dixie State! I never thought that I would see Yellowcard in person, but I have! It was an awesome concert even though I had a cheap nosebleed seat, it's not like I was too far away to hear them.... : P SO loud! I was slightly deaf for almost an hour after the concert. After the concert I met up with my friends and we went to Denny's and topped of an already awesome night with more awesomeness! : )

Well, I love you guys, and thanks for reading!
{Peace}

P.S. Don't forget to comment!

A Visual Update To My Life . . . .

2011-09-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a minute, so I thought I would keep you all updated.

My photography class is going wonderfully! I bought a new lens for my camera, the Canon 50mm f/1.8 II. Fantastic portrait lens!

I would take a picture of it but . . . You see the problem? Since this is the only lens I have I can't take pictures of it. Here are some pictures I have taken WITH it though.

One of the first shots I took with the lens right out of the box.

One of the fountains on campus.

A really cool cactus I found in a flowerbed just east of the Preforming Arts building.

A bush that was next to the cactus pictured above.

With compression of JPEG and detail loss with uploading, these do lose some of their fantastic sharpness, but this gives you a rough idea that this lens is VERY good with wonderfully rich bokeh.

My 3D class has also been going pretty well. Our most recent assignment was to make two kitchen appliances. I did a retro fridge and stove. For simplicity's sake I converted the stove to a glass electric top because I honestly didn't have the time to make a gas grate. I might add that later. I might also make the oven door see through and put some oven racks inside to sell the look better, but he only gave us a week to do it so I really didn't see the need to kill myself.

Needless to say I am more proud of my stove than I am of my fridge but I they both work, especially together. Just a FYI, Big Chill is a real brand that still makes retro appliances. So if you are in the market, check them out. Be warned, however, they will cost you dearly.

Well, I must bid you farewell. I need to eat and then help my friend with her homework.

{Peace}

A Very Long String of Pointless Letters . . . .

2011-09-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

So, unusually, work is very slow today. At least so far. I had to help one person with their program (all they needed was a plus sign in a particular place) and one other person came in to take a quiz. It's been kinda nice to just sit here and chill listening to my book on tape. I should really be working on my TIME magazine cover, but I really don't want to at the moment.

I finished my next assignment in my 3D class, which I had lots of fun doing. It is the Invicta Watch logo, found here.

I like the way it turned out. I also did another version.

I used a metal texture for the letters instead of the glass one. I'm happy with how both turned out. Also, since this logo was pretty simple, I wanted more practice so I decided to do another one. One of my favorite video game franchises is the American McGee's Alice games. One of the great things about the game is the logo, which I made in Maya. The real one can be found here.

It's not a perfect representation of the original logo but I think it turned out fairly well. Since it wasn't really for the assignment, I tried to keep it more simple, at least as far as the background and textures go. This class is honestly unhealthy for me. My other homework tends to suffer because I want to just do my 3D homework all of the time. When I'm working in Maya, although it has it's quirks that are hard to catch, it feels really natural, like an extension of my arm. Mind you, I can't always make it do what I want, unlike my arm most of the time, but it feels natural in a way.

I have also been having fun in my photography class. I bought a camera from a friend of mine, my first non point and shoot camera. It is a Canon 300d, the first digital Rebel that Canon made. The up side to that was that I was able to get a nice camera for a really good price, the downside was that it is only 6 mp and kinda worn out.

Not my actual camera. Mine is a lot more worn out.

The only bad part about the camera is that it didn't come with any lenses. This is a problem since these kinds of cameras cannot take pictures without a lens. The good news is that my dad had a fixed Canon 50mm f/1.4 lens. The bad news is that the lens is an FD mount and my camera only takes EF mount. More good news is that there is an adapter they sell that changes a FD lens to a EF lens and it's only $35. More bad news is that there is no way to tell the kind of quality that you will get from the lens since the adapter has the light go through another piece of glass which, depending on the camera, can severely affect the quality of the image. My parents are coming to see me today and bringing with them my dad's old lens, so I will know how good it will work by the end of the day! If it does not, I will have to fork out another $190 to get the camera working.

Because I didn't have a lens for it, I rented one of the school's lenses, so I could do my first photography assignment, which was a demonstration of our knowledge of shutter speed. I took pictures of my friend playing tennis.

I think this one is my favorite. The requirements of the assignment were that we take 3 pictures (or should I say take a ton of pictures and pick 3 that turned out the best [I ended up taking 74]), one super sharp, one blurred (like this one), and one that is so blurred it's hard to tell what the subject is or doing at all. I think my teacher liked my slightly original subject choice (I doubt anyone else will use a tennis player) and he said that I understood the assignment well. So I feel good about that.

One thing that's been on my mind lately is wondering if I should become a True Rebel this year (yes, I know that it's just a knock off of USU's True Aggie night). The process to become a True Rebel is pretty simple. First it must be homecoming night, second you must stand in the fountain in the middle of campus, and third you must kiss someone at the stroke of midnight.

Standing in the fountain at midnight on homecoming night isn't hard. What's hard about it (at least for me) is convincing someone of the opposite sex to kiss me at said time and place. I have gone to homecoming both years that I have been here but neither time I went afforded the opportunity to become a True Rebel. I won't lie, however. I didn't have the courage to bring up the subject either time. So it is really my fault for not taking action. I chickened out.

Yet again, this presents a problem. If I want to become a True Rebel, I will have to get the courage to ask, but asking is putting myself up for denial, and I will be the first to admit that I'm scared silly to ask. This fear comes from past experiences with relationships, and only one experience was the pain worth it. I wouldn't say that it has ruined me, but it has definitely made me wary of girls in general.

Our society has stupid way of looking at relationships. Either you are in a relationship to get married or you are not. It also seems like the man decides this too often. Why can't things like this be more universal? For instance, why can't interest be expressed mutually before dating? The very idea of a pity date is just plain stupid. Why can't men and women express their feelings more openly? It would remove the idea of hints and mixed messages.

Flirting might be fun but it almost always ends up with people's feelings being hurt because someone reads into what someone else did too much and so makes assumptions. It is just a big MESS! Why can't we all just get along?

That about sums up my life at the moment work, school, and no love life. If you actually read all of this pointless dribble, then congratulations!!! Way to be dedicated!
Fare-thee-well!

{Peace}

Summer Has Come And Gone . . . .

2011-09-08T11:55:00.001-07:00

I'm a slacker. I won't try to deny it. But don't they say: "Better late than never?" I don't know if I wholly believe that phrase myself. For instance, what if you were late, someone died? Then it wouldn't matter weather you were late or never because it would have the same outcome. But that's not the point.

School is now in full swing. My classes are challenging, the homework is icky, and the dates with girls are nonexistent. That about sums up my life. My job is alright (I'm a computer labbie at the CIT computer lab), in fact I'm at work right now! They let me do whatever I want (except listen to headphones ;-( which is the hardest part of my job). I have had tons of homework or have been VERY busy all the shifts I have worked so far, but today is more chill. The only homework I have is to watch a youtube video and answer two questions for it for my nutrition class and then do some CIS homework. I can't do either of those things here because I can't have headphones on and these computers here in the computer lab don't have Microsoft Office 2010. So that is why I'm updating my blog.

My favorite class is my 3D class, by far. I'm excited to go to class and the assignments are enjoyable too! Here is a sample of my first project I did. They are of my AKG 240s headphones. On of the requirements of the assignment was to only use the simple objects that Maya gives you to work with.

It's not perfect but I think it turned out alright. Here are the actual headphones.

My biggest problem I had was the lighting. I couldn't get it bright enough to really see the detail so it ended up seeing more detail in the refection, which is kinda messed up.

Well, my shift is over and I am hungry. Fare thee well!
{Peace}

Why Run?

2011-04-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

This is why!

Let me know what you think!

{Peace}

Hello Again . . . .

2011-04-20T21:49:00.001-07:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I have been busy. With finals drawing near the fear of how sucky the summer could be is closing in.

I won't be as busy, that's good.

I will have to work my butt off for some much needed money, that's bad.

I will get to see my sister a lot, that's good.

My almost non-existent social life will be snuffed out completely, that's bad.

I won't have to pay for food, that's good.

I will undoubtedly run into certain people that I would rather avoid, that's bad.

I won't have to eat cafeteria food (!), that's very good.

I will be forced, due to geographical location, to deal with Spring City's "idiosyncrasies", that's very bad.

I get to go out to Indiana and see my sister, that's good.

I have to go out to Indiana to move my sister out (heavy lifting +long hours of driving + stressed parents/sister = bad), that's bad.

I will have time to work on some projects that I have been meaning to get to, that's good.

I might be forced to be enslaved at Terrel's once again, that's very, very, very bad.

I might NOT be forced to be enslaved at Terrel's, that's very good.

It will be warm weather, that's good.

It won't be as nice as St. George, that's bad.

I will miss my friends, that's bad.

I can kiss any chance of a love life goodbye while I'm at home, that's very bad.

I have to deal with all the memories that are back home, that's also very, very bad.

As you can see, I ran out of good things before I ran out of bad things, hence the dismal outlook on this summer. I should really be working on my paper rather than writing this, but I'm really good at procrastinating.

If you made it to the end of this pointless dribbling, congratulations!

You have been awarded 10 Brownie Points!*

{Peace}

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Your Worst Nightmare . . .

2011-03-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

Is here!

It took many hours of slaving away at the computer lab, but I have finally finished it! My fake trailer for my video editing class. The fake movie is called "Ring Around The Rosie" and stars my friends Ashleigh, Camilla and Alexa. I would like to thank them for being good sports and being in my silly movie!

I hope you all enjoy this!

{Peace}

Time, Time For A Change . . . .

2011-02-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

Let me know what you think of my new blog layout.

Be honest! :)

{Peace}

"Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 . . .

2011-02-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

a date which will live in infamy."

Here is my slideshow project that I did for my video editing class. Like the name suggests, I could ONLY use still images, no video. I did the best I could with what I had. I hope you all like it! :)

(I take no credit for pictures, music, sounds or anything else in this video. All I did was put it together for purely academic and emotional purposes).

{Peace}

P.S. This version on facebook is better quality . . . .

I Just Remembered . . . .

2011-02-07T00:28:00.000-08:00

The reason I love anime so much is because of this . . . .

Death Note truly encompasses everything that I love about art and anime. The story and visual style are stunning, the music is riveting, and the characters are diverse, deep, and fascinating.

Just in case you were wondering, I love the animated series, not the Japanese live action movies (which are kinda a joke). That being said, I'm looking forward to what an american will do with the story even though I doubt it will be as good as the original magna comics or the anime series.

All in all, I highly recommend the series, music, or the magna. Great stuff. And I guarantee it will keep you guessing, right up til the end! :)

{Peace}

P.S. Just for fun, these are the rules of the Notebook (pictured in the first photo) just in case you were curious. Enjoy!

If I Were . . . .

2011-01-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

To describe in one word how I feel right now, it's "exhausted." This single word goes further than to just describe my physical state, it also is an apt description for my emotional condition. I don't seem to have the appropriate energies necessary for any kind of activity short of sleeping. This, however, creates a problem since I have lots that needs to get done, both socially and academically. It's almost like every meaningful thought is covered in vaseline and is far too slick to hold on to.

I shall cease my dribbling.

{Peace}

Yet Again . . . .

2011-01-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

Another year has come and gone and the only word I can come up with for this year is "Disappointing" I know that's an unhealthy attitude towards a whole year, but it seemed to just go down hill from the beginning. Besides my four A's and one -A in school, I'm not better off than last year.

A harsh blanket statement, I know, but it's true. I spent too much money, I didn't reach any worthwhile goals, the only new friends I made this year have (almost) all left and/or I'm not going to see them much due to living arrangements and my dating goals have, apart from some late progress, were almost untouched. But I guess that could be classified under the "goal" category. To be blunt, goal progress has been absolutely terrible. In fact, I took a step backwards from most of my goals.

There is a lot of uncertainty in my future since my plans that I have had since I was a 10 year old has been thrown into the spiky pit of doubt and has been locked in until further notice.

This future of unknowns is troubling, especially with the compounded problem of not having enough money.

Due to the personal nature of my goals I won't post them here, but I can say that I want the word of 2011 to be "fulfilling." I want to start living my life and get rid of this void that has been my personal demon for far too long. No one can tell me how to live my life or how to be happy.

That is all.

{Peace}

The Fruits of My Labors . . . .

2010-12-05T13:54:00.000-08:00

Here 15 hours straight of work . . . . There are 4 different versions, let me know which one you like the most! I Know it's not that amazing, but I kept hitting snags. I am happy with the result though. I put in everything I wanted to, more or less. Let me know what you think!!!!

The simplest one:
http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/xml/xmlproject.html

This one and the two with music have a hidden video in them! Can you find it?! There is also something else you can click to hide and pause the video!

http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/xml/xmlprojectvid.html

With music:

http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/xml/xmlprojectsnd.html

Alternate music:
http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/xml/xmlprojectsnd1.html

I could use suggestions for different songs too, but no lyrics. I hope you enjoy what I did.

{Peace}

This Song Gives Me Goosebumps . . . .

2010-12-03T22:34:00.001-08:00

Every time I listen to this song, it gives the wonderful swooshing feeling in my stomach that I get whenever I experience something beautiful. I thought I would share.

P.S. You should also go to my website and click around. I need the hits for my final presentation! Much appreciated!

http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/vt3000/php/final/home.php

P.P.S. The movie that this piece of music if from is called "Sunshine" and I would HIGHLY recommend it. It's a very good, but very sad movie. And before you get mad at me, it's cleaner than most movies out there.

I'm Thankful For . . . .

2010-11-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

Hope. There are always bits of life that strewn with misfortune and pain but then there always comes one of those crossroads that if nothing else offers a glimmer of hope. At this current crossroads I know that what I hope for probably won't ever be, but it's the possibility that keeps me going.

The best way I can describe is hope is like a pain killer, it doesn't take the pain away per-se, but it makes it easier to deal with. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that has made the past two years very difficult to deal with, questioning why things happened the way they happened. This time too, could be just a mirage, but the hope is there.

I still blame myself, deep down, for what happened, no matter how many times I'm told otherwise and despite the fact that it wasn't my fault . . . I don't think. So, needless to say I have never forgiven myself which makes this all the harder, being afraid that I will mess up my precious second chance. Even though I believe everything happens for a reason I also believe that you can throw away what you are given if you are not careful. It may seem contradictory to you but it makes sense to me . . . .

On a closing note, I would also like to say that Christ's Atonement is the ultimate hope, and I know without it, I don't know how I could go on living.

{Peace}

CSS Is An Unwieldy Beast . . . .

2010-11-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

But once tamed, it is a powerful tool. I feel bad for all of those who have had to learn CSS in a short of time as I had, the road was paved with frustration, to say the least. But now I know it, it will make life easier. Much easier.

It should also be noted that if I didn't have a natural aptitude for computers and code, I doubt I could have done it.

http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.edu/css/index.html

Enjoy!

{Peace}

And now . . . .

2010-10-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

Without further adu, I present to you my grand masterpiece, my movie website, in all its shining glory.

http://bwhite2.php.cs.dixie.ed u/final_fantasy_VII_ACC/Final%20Fantasy%20VII.swf

Nuff Said . . . .

{Peace}

P.S. If you haven't seen this movie, than shame on you! :P

Ella Enchanted: A Twist in the Story

2010-10-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

This is a literary analysis of Ella Enchanted. Any comments would be appreciated!

In fairy tales, magic is almost always a key and integrale part of the story; it can shape the story, lead the story, drive the story, it can be used by the antagonist or it can be weapon of the hero. Ella Enchanted is no different but the role that magic plays is different from the typical fairy tale.

From the very first page, magic is introduced to the reader, and its role never diminishes for the rest of the story. In most variants of Cinderella, magic helps her get to the ball, win over the prince and provides her with clothes that are beyond her normal means. Ella Enchanted, on the other hand, takes this idea of magic and expands its role greatly, diversifying it be the antagonist and the protagonist. Not only does magic help her get to the ball in the end, it is also the main cause of her distress throughout the entire story.

At the very beginning Ella is provide with the "gift" of obedience by the fairy Lucinda, and this "gift" forces Ella to obey any direct order, regardless of the request. This causes many problems throughout the book. From small things, such as making her look like a fool, to much larger things that endanger her life and the life of others, Ella is caught in troubling circumstances. This curse, however, explains the reason why she didn't leave her stepmother to begin with when she began to be mistreated.

In most versions of Cinderella, she is portrayed as a quiet, shy and a very obedient girl that allows herself to be walked over. This is much different in Ella Enchanted. Not only is Ella not shy or quiet she is also quite the rebel. Even though this personality trait isn't as evident as it could be since she is forced to obey and be submissive. However, she has her moments that show quite clearly that despite her curse she is independent and rebellious. Take for example, that she runs away from finishing school on a quest to find Lucinda and convince her to remove the curse. She does this alone and without magic which is in strong contrast to most variants where she will not do anything out of the norm unless there is magic involved.

Another good example of this independence is when she is getting ready to go to the ball. She does everything in her power and when that is not enough only then does she resort to magic, and even though she is provided with a carriage and jewelry she uses her own dress, mask and shoes and was planning on going to ball as she was, and only employed magic when her dress would have been ruined by the rain, and all of her effort along with it.

Magic is also present in the in environment of the story, with magical creatures, such as unicorns, centaurs and ogres making their appearance in the story frequently. The ogres played the largest role by capturing and trying to eat the heroine after she runs away from finishing school. They have several magical traits including the power of persuasion, and the ability to see your darkest secrets by simply looking at you. When you combine these two magical powers, it makes a powerful magical foe that is not easily overcome. During the time Ella spends in their captivity she learns their trait of persuasion because she has a gift of languages. This element is ironic since she can not disobey orders and yet she can give them with surprising persuasion. She does not use this power often, however, and this irony goes mostly unnoticed with minimal impact on the story.

The magic in Ella Enchanted also affects Dame Olga (Ella's stepmother) and Ella's father. When Ella's father remarries, Lucinda comes to the wedding and grants another one of her "gifts" to the newly wed couple. She gives the gift of eternal love. Regardless of this, Ella's father still leaves on trading for over a year at a time, which affects Ella adversely because her father was the only thing standing in between Dame Olga and her hate for Ella.

Although the romance for Ella's father was affected by magic, Ella's romantic encounter is affected by magic very little and progresses very naturally, unfettered by magic which is very different from some versions of Cinderella, in which she bewitches the prince by some magical aspect of her appearance. Her relationship is, however, affected indirectly by magic. For instance, the coach that goes to the ball in is, of course magical, like most versions. Ella's curse also affects the relationship, by keeping her from marrying him because she knows that it would put the prince, the kingdom and rest of the royal family in danger, because even though they wouldn't give her any direct orders, other people might, enemies of the king might even order her to kill one or all of the royal family.

Another way that magic is portrayed differently in Ella Enchanted than other versions of Cinderella is the conclusion. In the end it is her overcoming the magic and breaking the curse that allows her to marry the prince not the other way around. This also presents an interesting theory, that love is stronger than magic or that love is magic in and of itself. Although these themes are not totally uncommon in romance literature as a whole, they still are not a common theme in versions of Cinderella. Not only does this strengthen the romance element of the story, it also weakens the overall role of the magic, making the story more believable or relatable.

Despite the overwhelming number of versions of Cinderella that exist, Ella Enchanted sets itself apart from the rest by its clever use of magic in many instances throughout the book, and in contrast to most versions, it does not leave you wondering why she allowed herself to be walked all over. Magic makes a strong appearance in this story without being overbearing, and creates a good balance with Ella's natural desire to be independent and teaches us an important lesson: with good attitude, perseverance, love and patience, we can overcome any obstacle, even magic.

{Peace}

Better Than The Hype . . . .

2010-09-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

So, I was awful curious about how long my new Zune 120GB battery would last since it was rumored to last up to 30 hours of music playing time, and so I decided to test it. I started with a fresh charged battery at 9:45 PM on Wednesday night.

I woke up the next morning at 8:30 AM and checked it; it was still running. I put on my headphones and headed to class with it and let it run all during my classes throughout the day. I had a nap, ate two meals before 9:45 PM and started my homework at 9:00 PM Thursday night. 23 hours and counting. I did my homework, watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and had a bedtime snack. I dosed off with my headphones and woke up at 4:10 AM and it was STILL GOING! Since I needed if for the next day, stopped it at 4:15 AM a decided to call it good there.

Estimated battery life of my Zune 120GB: > 30.5 hours or 30+ hours. INSANE! It preforms better than the official time given by Microsoft and there was no telling how much longer it could have gone before it would have finally died. Needless to say, I'm very impressed. Good job, Microsoft!

{Peace}

Happiness Comes in Many Different Flavors . . . .

2010-09-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

What you behold before you is a truly amazing piece of technology.

Today, after my classes got out, I wandered over the cafeteria to get some lunch. I ran into some friends and chatted for an hour and a half. I looked at my watch and realized that it was 3 PM, that meant that the mail had arrived. I could hardly sit still from the excitement, but not wanting to be rude, I didn't tell my friend that I needed to go right away. So I waited. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long since my friend needed to get his bike fixed before the bike shop closed. Soon after that we parted ways and walked quickly to the resident life building (that's where my mail comes) and entered. Kathy, the nice lady behind the desk, saw me walk in and before I said anything, went over the mail rack and retrieved the package addressed to me.

I was elated. I quickly thanked her and literally sprinted across the lawn to my dorm and tore open the padded envelope with feverish haste. To my surprise I found another padded envelope inside of that. Strange, I thought, as I ripped into the second envelope. Thoughts were flitting across my mind that this was better than Christmas. As I opened the second envelope, I noticed that there was a box inside of this one. Surly, this was the last layer and then I could retrieve my prize. The box proved difficult to open since it had been taped on all 6 sides. My small pocket knife cut at the tape for a good 45 seconds before I could pry the box open. Inside the box was yet another padded envelope. Worried thoughts started to drift through my head that wondered if this could be some kind of elaborate joke. I tore into the third envelope with, if it's possible, more haste than the previous ones, but to my joy, a small, black brick dropped out that looked just like the one pictured above. : ) It should also be noted that this "brick" is much more functional than a real one.

With 120GB of storage (that's 4 times the size of my last Zune), a 3.2" screen (.1" bigger than my last Zune), a squircle (is a kick-butt rounded square that has touch sensitivity and button clicking capabilities that is HUGH leaps and bounds better than my last Zune) and a piano black finish (about a million time shinier than my last Zune), make it not only attractive, but useful as well.

There are a few things that I am disappointed about though. There is very slight background noise when songs are changed, also when it's plugged into the wall and the screen is on the screen "sings" in your headphones for some reason. Why it only does it when it's plugged in the wall, I don't know, but it's kinda annoying. Although I knew that there would be no equalizer, I still miss it. I'm used to a little extra kick from the bass and little more height to the treble. This a just a sacrifice for more storage, a bigger screen, three times the battery life and a 25% smaller piece of equipment. A fair trade.

Before you jump to conclusions that this MP3 player sounds bad, it sounds the same as my old Zune, just flatter than the equalizer setting I liked. But when my old Zune is set to default, my new Zune sounds the same on the same song.

Anyway, look and revel in its awesomeness just like I have all day. : )

{Peace}

Birthing Creativity: Animation Mother

2010-09-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

The largest computer animation conference in the world is the International Conference and Exhibition on Computer Graphics and Interactive Techniques, and is called SIGGRAPH for short. Every year SIGGRAPH opens their doors to submissions before the conference starts, and out of all the submissions they pick a piece that exemplifies the theme of progress and creativity that is the underlying goal of every conference. In 2008, the piece that was selected for the prestigious SIGGRAPH Computer Animation Festival Award was called “Animation Mother” and was created by Meats Meier.

At first glance this picture might appear to just be a whimsical piece that has no real motivation behind the subject matter or the execution, but as you delve deeper into the “Animation Mother” it becomes clear that it was thoroughly premeditated in every aspect. The color in this piece stands out right away, ranging from a fiery orange to subtle sea greens. The blacks are rich and dynamic and give exceptional depth to this delineation. The light greens and blues in her bust and hair give it a focal point, while your eyes slide through the rest of the picture, soaking up details as they go. The bright white of the hands also demands attention and suggests that she posses power, and it might even be construed that this power is the power of creation, similar to the ability of reproduction that women have. This aspect alone would have made the a strong candidate for the SIGGRAPH award, eluding to the capability we all have to “birth” creative ideas independently.

Another aspect that is quickly noticed by the eye is her striking pose and expression. A welcoming, loving gesture, conducive of the attitude of someone opening their arm for an expected embrace. The slight tilt to the head gives her a less rigid, and more welcoming feel, similar to your real mother. As your eyes travel downward, they notice the almost skirt shape of the grid material below her waist, once again, allowing her to take on a more motherly form.

From an artistic stand point, this is a marvel, but it is even more so from a technical stand point. If you look closely you start to see the vast amount of detail that went into her, from her delicate framework that is made up of thin, mesh like material, to her incredibly realistic looking face and skin texture. The unbelievable level of minute detail continues in the hair, which if you look closely, you will notice thousands of ridges, spines, bumps, dots, barbs, feelers and bristles that make up the individual strands.

The shadow and lighting in this piece also are quite the technical feat, ranging from the ethereal glow of her hands to the specular background of the heavens to the dynamic shadows of her hair and body. It also should be noticed that her form is giving off a delicate glow that could suggest divinity which also could bring to mind the creation aspect. Overall, this picture probably consists of somewhere in the range of the tens of millions of polygons and probably took Meier weeks to complete, if not longer.

Not only does this delineation exemplify all the attributes that SIGGRAPH encourages and promotes, it also gives a clear window into the future and of the possibilities of computer graphics and animation. “Animation Mother” lets your mind explore the creative possibilities that are inside of your own mind, inspiring, stimulating and encouraging the imagination to go towards new heights and possibilities, in a never ceasing effort to quench the inventive nature of the mind and give “birth” to something new.

Any insights for this paper would be appreciated and constructive criticism is welcome. Length is also a consideration, anything that sticks out to you about the picture that I didn't cover, let me know and I will consider adding a paragraph about it. Also, any titles ideas are welcomed! Thanks in advance!

{Peace}

A Twisted Stab at Food Review: The Bent Fork

2010-08-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

This is an age of fast food, quickly prepared and often of low quality, so it is refreshing to stumble upon a dining establishment that so thoroughly exceeds expectations and gives a unique and fresh view of the culinary scene. The Bent Fork offers more than just food; it provides the experience of a memorable and exquisite culinary encounter.

When I opened the door to the Bent Fork, the first thing I noticed was the artwork near the front entrance. A variety of forks were bent into spirals, waves, curves, and zig-zags, with each fork framed in its own red wooden box. It was modern and simple, and it set an intriguing tone for my visit. The decor throughout the restaurant mirrored this welcoming artwork, being tasteful and clean, but with a dash of unexpected flavor.

Dark tables starkly contrasted with light brown floors and walls. In the background, the music selections were contemporary and relaxing. Unlike many restaurants, which assault their patrons with loud and annoying songs that mar the eating experience, the Bent Fork offered a refreshingly appropriate soundtrack to complement a meal. Overall, it was a very inviting ambiance.

The service was prompt and friendly. I was greeted immediately, and was seated quickly. The friendly hostess made me feel like an appreciated customer right away, and my waitress was top notch. I was given a menu and ample time to order, and was asked if I had any questions about menu, which surprised me since I have never been asked that before at a restaurant. The menu itself was simple and to the point. There were no pictures, and the descriptions were constrained to a line or two. This, however, did not diminish the dining experience. I found it refreshing not to have to wade through ten pages of menu just to find the entrees and another three to find the drinks and desserts. Free from the bloat of advertisements and promotions, the menu consisted of just one brown page, printed on both sides.

My first regret was that I had not come hungry enough to sample most of the menu. Most of the entrées and sandwiches sounded absolutely delicious. The Bent Fork club sandwich piqued my interest with its grilled chicken, avocado, chipotle mayo, bacon and tomato. The three cheese ravioli also was tempting and many of the sides, such as herb mashed potatoes and garlic bread, sounded intriguing. The dessert list was small, but it made up in quality what it lacked in quantity, featuring delicacies such as gelato trio and Italian creme torte. One thing that surprised me was the lack of a wine list. Although I do not drink, I was surprised by the lack of a wine list. The Bent Fork seemed to be the type of establishment that would offer more sophisticated beverages than soft drinks, coffee, milk, juice, and tea.

I was seated in a booth with high backed benches, which lent a much more private feel than the tables at most dining establishments. The tables were a dark cherry color, and the large, black, linen napkins concealed heavy, expensive flatware. After considerable deliberation, I ordered the green chili lasagna, the restaurant's signature dish. My meal came with the choice of a salad or the soup of the day; I chose the soup. My white bean and sausage soup was brought out promptly, in a small but elegant bowl. Underneath the bowl, on the matching saucer, I was surprised to find a four square inch piece of onion skin, which matched the brown decor. Little touches like this, present throughout my dining experience, greatly added to the restaurant's appeal.

The soup itself was quite good. The beans and the sausage were both high quality, and it was topped with some sort of green leaf that added a nice flavor. The sausage made the soup rather slightly, but not overly so. A garlic bread stick came with the soup, and was also delicious. My friend, who ordered a turkey sandwich with a side of fries, found the wait for her food to be excessive, but since I had got the soup first I did not find the wait to be nearly as unbearable as she did.

When her food did finally arrive, my friend was impressed with the quality of the food and of the dinnerware. Her sandwich and fries, which came separate from her sandwich, were in large, black, metal sandwich baskets. The ketchup came in stainless steel condiment cups, another surprising fine touch. I was also impressed with the presentation of my entree, the lasagna, on a thick stoneware plate.

The lasagna itself was very delicious. The green chili lasagna gets its name from the green chili sauce, but also features smoked chicken, house-made pasta, Italian cheese, and sliced bell peppers. I received a good-sized piece, which came centered in the middle of a large plate covered in the green chile sauce. The overall effect was very professional and gourmet and had obviously been done by a chef who had formal culinary training. Because everything was made fresh, the dish had much more flavor than expected. The lasagna pasta noodles were wonderfully tender and the cheese was delightfully cheesy.

The prices were surprisingly low for the fine quality of the dining experience. My lasagna and soup were only $14.00 and my friend's sandwich and fries were only $7.00. Because of the overwhelming quality of the dining, I would highly recommend this restaurant to anyone looking for somewhere to eat that is out of the ordinary, yet reasonably priced.

My score:

Service: 9/10

Atmosphere: 9/10

Food: 10/10

Price: 10/10

Decor: 9/10

Overall: 9.5/10

This is for my English class. I need about half a page (a full page would be safer) more (double spaced) of content. If any of you have any ideas as to what I can add to fill this out more, it would be greatly appreciated. I tried to go over every single element that I could think of that was related to my dinning experience and now I'm out of ideas. Also, what do you think of the name of the blog entry? Ideas? Suggestions? Thanks in advance! : )

{Peace}

Note to Self on Staying Alive . . . .

2010-07-29T22:34:00.001-07:00

Don't EVER attempt a u-turn, in the middle of the night, with no moon . . . in the middle of the highway . . . right in front of traffic!

So there I was, cruising down the highway at 65 MPH at about 10 PM and there was a van stopped on the side of the road. The car in front of me signaled and got in the other lane to go around them and give them a wide birth, but when I tried to follow suit, the van suddenly turned on his left blinker. It crossed my mind that it was a strange time for them to merge back onto the highway, right when I was trying to pass them, but I figured that they were in a hurry and they had seen that I had got into the other lane to avoid hitting them. Then came the most unexpected thing possible: they kept turning, and attempted to do a u-turn . . . in the middle of the night, with no moon . . . in the middle of the highway . . . RIGHT in front of me!

I have always heard people say that when something extremely dangerous happens that time slows down. They are right. Time seemed to stop for a second and I saw, to my horror, that they had turned left in an attempt to turn around, and even though they weren't in my lane yet, I could see that I was going to hit them square in the side if I kept going straight. In this split second span of time my mind searched for possible routes around the van.

First thought: Brake!

[Braking action]

Second thought: Go right. Around the back end of the van in the learned, drivers ed. fashion.

Reason(s) for failure:
1. There isn't enough room to turn that sharply; the angle needed would most likely roll the car right into the van killing everyone. Possibility of failure: 98% - 100%

[No action]

Third thought: Go left. Around the front of the van, off the side of the road.

Reason(s) for failure:
1. This action means turning in front of the van which could cause collision to passenger side.

2. Also, this action requires going into the ditch off the road which might result in rolling the car, blowing out the tires, running into some unseen obstacle in the weeds, or running into the fence. Possibility of failure: 50% - 80%

Decision: Turn left.

[Turn left]

Keep in mind that these thoughts were going through my head in less than a second of real time because that was about the reaction time. That being said, I did not literally think all those words, but the general ideas were passed through my brain but it was more literally like this, "Thatwayroomnotenoughotherwaychancegonow!" But that's no fun. : )

So I turned left.

It wasn't an immediate, direct drop off the edge of the road since there was a turn off into a field.

So this is where my decision took place

After I turned left.

Just before the drop, right when he almost hit me.

The danger of him hitting me was mostly over but now I had worry about the side of the road.

When I was airborne. Well, my front half. I thought I was going to roll here.

All I was trying to do was maintain control and get back on the road.

I almost hit the post here.

The fear started fading slightly here when I realized that I was still alive.

This is where I started hyperventilating.

And so there you have it. The closest I have ever come to dying. Now, I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I had someone watching over me and dad. There were so many things that could have gone wrong and killed me, dad and the people in the van. I could have rolled, t-boned, got t-boned, blew a tire or ran into the post or the fence. I must say, even though I had help, my reflexes were very quick too. I'm sure playing video games helped that, believe it or not.

Anyway, I'm glad me, dad and everyone else involved are alive.

{Peace}

P.S. I hope you enjoyed the illustrations. : ) You can thank Adobe Illustrator CS4 for these images. : )

You Should All Be Thankful That I'm Writing This Instead of Playing Fallout 3 . . . .

2010-07-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Every so often everyone feels broken in some way or another, lately has been one of those times for me. Not broken as in "I feel like crying", but more of a "I don't feel like I'm working right at the moment." It's certainly strange, there are moments that I feel like almost a superman at work and others when I feel like the only thing I can do is trip over my own feet. In the same shift, nonetheless.
Maybe this new inconsistency is partially due to the fact that my self-esteem is pretty much beyond repair. Take for instance, a computer fan that is on its last leg, sometimes it works like new, quiet, smooth and silent; yet most of the time the fan sounds like it's going to melt, blow up or otherwise cause some untold destruction. That's what my self-esteem "sounds" or feels like right now. One minute I will be on top of the world, and the next I'm thinking that I'm the dirt that no one cares about.
What the exact cause of this is, I'm unsure of. But one thing I do know: the recent* drought of dating or girl interaction in general is certainly one of the contributing factors to my "broken" state. Although I have come to this realization, it has not changed anything. They say, "Knowledge is power," but I say, "Knowledge makes you feel insignificant and useless." Not as catchy, but far more prevalent, in this case at least.
*Please note: by recent I mean about a year and a half and counting.
This general feeling of dirt towards the opposite sex has now seeped into my subconscious, so now, whenever I see a girl that catches my attention, I do a ring check and usually that takes care of any further trouble, but if there isn't a ring, I either, judging by the company she is with, find myself thinking: "She must look older than she looks," or "She is probably texting her boyfriend." Of course most of these assumptions are not backed by any facts, but that doesn't stop me from thinking these depressing thoughts. I know that realistically, my chances with a complete stranger are minuscule to begin with, but it's nice to look around and see possibilities, not dead ends.
It also doesn't help that when I'm at work I see all the happy relationships that all my coworkers are in, whether it be dating, engagement or marriage. I know that none of them mean to, but their actions bring to my mind stark, painful, undimmed memories from when I had a girlfriend. Especially since most of the dating relationships that I'm aware of around the store involve two employees, and my ex-girlfriend was working at the store when I met her (I was working there at the time, too) and about half of the time we were dating. I guess I'm just cursed with those memories until the end of time . . . oh, well.
Well, I will say it. THIS IS NOT FAIR. I'm sick of the short end of the stick getting thrust in my face, even when I just looked at the stick with minor interest. I'm tired of getting judged too quickly. I guess that I should just accept that I got lucky and that's that. I don't want to throw in the towel on this one, but there is really no point in fighting and getting my already broken self-esteem beat viciously into the ground by the merciless hands of the opposite sex. And the most depressing thing is that they don't even know that they are doing it at all. Every girl should have to take a class when they are 12 on how not to abuse the self-esteem of boys. But then, of course, most would take that as an invitation to manipulate males and make our lives a living hell. Oh, wait, that's already true.
Yes, I'm bitter. But I think you would be too if you had been through what I have. Maybe not, maybe everyone out there is better at coping with life than me. It sure seems that way. Well, that is enough bitterness for one night. And to anyone that actually bothered to read all of this post, I congratulate and give you brownie points galore! : )
{Peace}

My Free Time . . . .

2010-06-15T23:27:00.000-07:00

I have a moment so I figured that I would make a long over due blog entry. . . .

So lately in my free time I have been playing a lot of video games and I have beaten Half-Life 2 (Half-Life 2, episode one and episode two), TimeShift(no, this is not a typo, it's one word with a capital S), Motorstorm: Pacific Rift and I'm working on Bioshock at the moment.

Half-Life 2:

Pros: It has a good storyline that engages you, superb voice acting, awesome graphics and VERY realistic facial expressions for a FPS (especially Alyx).

Cons: The driving in this game sucks hardcore. They really could have put a little more effort into the driving aspect. At least in the PS3 version there are some bugs that should have been worked out during development that include: Framerate slowage on occasion and static in the audio at times that's very random and annoying. The framerates are understandable but the audio is unacceptable.

Other: This game is insanely hard and frustrating at times. Save often, because you will die . . . a lot. Even at the end of Episode Two they leave you hanging for the last episode which isn't even out yet. Why can't they hurry up and release it? (>_<)

Score: 8.5/10

TimeShift:

Pros: Decent graphics, solid framerates, and ammo crates! (^_^)

Cons: The vegetation doesn't look very realistic and the lack of anti-aliasing on the shadows makes it hard to see sometimes. The driving in this game is pretty bad, although it's not quite as bad as Half-Life 2. The voice acting is pretty bad and the enemies are unrealistically hard to kill (I'm sorry, but if someone gets shot a pointblank rang with a shotgun, that someone is not going to be getting back up, I don't care who you are or what armor you have). It becomes a waste of ammo just being thorough and clearing the levels.

Other: The story is almost a copy of Half-Life 2. In both games you are physicists that you don't know much about, you have similar looking girlfriends, you have similar suits that have almost the same computer voices, and the similarities go on. The only difference is the feel and the plot.

Score: 7/10

Motorstorm: Pacific Rift:

Pros: Fun off-road racing. Good graphics, good music, no cheesy weapons and nice feel.

Cons: This game is RIDICULOUSLY HARD! The first 2/3 of the races can be won without much problem but the last third are almost impossible to get all gold medals. It wouldn't be that bad if you didn't care and you were happy with the bronzes and silvers when you got them, but if you want the "get all the gold medals" trophy you're going to be having some heartache and frustration. The speed system also is not very realistic. My car had a 5 star rating and I was neck and neck with a car that had a 4 star rating and we both slammed on the boost at the same time on the final straight and he won by at least 3 car lengths. You do the math.

Other: I don't think that semi trucks or monster trucks should be in the game to save on realism, what little of it is left, anyway.

Score: 8/10

I haven't beat Bioshock yet so I can't give a review yet. I will when I do, but it might be awhile though. I like exploring too much.

I watched The Ring the other night, and I have always been curious about what The Ring Two was like so I watched it last night and so I will write review for that too.

The Ring Two:

The plot sucked hardcore. The first one at least made some sense. The second one at the end leaves you scratching your head and wondering about all the loose ends.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Like why in the world did Samara want a mom so bad? Why did she possess Aidan when she pulled him into the TV, but when she pulled in Rachael in she was fine and was able to escape? Why was Samara's mom the "The patron saint for you people"? And why did he also say, "Everyone who visits knows that song she hums"? Does that mean that Samara went around possessing a bunch of kids while the moms figured out who Samara's mother was and went to visit her in the mental hospital? What was up with Samara being afraid of drowning when her ghost is basically made up of water and her calling card is water on the floor? They made it seem like at the end that they really did get rid of her for good but what about all the other tapes that got made? What was up with the world inside the TV? That made no sense at all. Why did she have to jump off the cliff to escape? I know they were trying to reference the fact that the tape showed Samara's adopted mother jumping off the cliff and committing suicide, but what does that have to with escaping the TV world? And lastly, why didn't that teenage boy in the beginning like that girl he was on a date with? She was quite the looker. He was a jerk anyway, I'm glad he died . . . .

Score: 4/10

{Peace}

Of Work and Watches and Other Things . . . .

2010-06-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

I became painfully aware that I haven't posted a blog entry quite a few days and only one in May. So, since it's June, I figured that I better post one.

All my free time has been eaten up by work lately. Last week with Memorial day and this week with my manager being gone I haven't had very many days off. The first tent sale of the year is also coming up faster than I would like. At least my paychecks will show the effort. Especially if I get the raise I asked for last week.

While on a trip last week I bought a watch at Wal-Mart that they were closing out for $35.

I think I got a good deal for a fully automatic, 21 jewel movement watch that looks pretty cool too. I also ordered some Charles Dumont watches off ebay a few days ago with faces that look sorta like this...

Except that they are silver instead of copper colored. I will post a picture of mine when I finally get it.

In other news, I started a new account on the PSN because I wanted to use a assault rifle on Modern Warfare 2 without ruining my accuracy percentage on the rankings (42.75%). And just for fun, I decided to make the user name look like I was a girl. And I was shocked to find that I got 7 friend requests right away and on my other account I only have 7ish friends total and I know 5 of them personally. I guess that girls that are good a MW2 are hott. : P

Oh, and one more thing. I might have a date. The time and day are yet to be determined if at all. She might not even consider it a date.... It's been WAY too long since I've gone on a real date though. *sigh*

{Peace}

Thoughts . . . .

2010-05-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Every so often along the road of life, I find myself plagued by unnecessary attraction to the opposite sex. By unnecessary I mean that it seems like the timing couldn't be any worse. Ever since I have been home this has been really bad. I am unsure as to the onset of these feelings, I figure that it must be a culmination of memories, a familiar environment and my mom's cooking. : ) I know, since I'm planning on going on a mission, that I should be avoiding all contact with the opposite sex at this point. I have to say that this spike in hormones is extremely annoying to say the least. Not only is it harder to keep my mind on things that it should be on, but also a mirage of opportunities that don't really exist is bothersome. I'm not saying this to be accusing, but it seems like every relationship opportunity I have had for the past year has been a dead end waiting to point and laugh at me at being dumb enough to venture down it, and to me it seems like it's the Man Upstairs that's making them not work out. Either that or I just have terrible luck with women. Both are real possibilities in my mind.

I dislike failure a lot because I am a perfectionist, and so it makes it really hard when a girl says to me, "I'm not ready to deal with a relationship," after one date. It makes me wonder if I'm just coming on too strong or if I just missed something altogether. Another blow to the self-esteem is when that same girl gets engaged 2 months later. That begs me to ask the always unasked question, "So you lied to me, right?" After 4 times of this happening (not the extreme cases of being engaged [that only happened to me once], but getting a serious boyfriend) since being dumped it makes me wonder if something is really wrong with me.

To be honest, I have become so unconfident and self conscious that it has left me scarred to some extent. Not as bad as being made fun of when I was little would have done to me, but scarred nonetheless. Another aggravant to the whole situation is the fact that my sister is now back home for a week. I know she doesn't mean to, but when she cuddles with her husband when we are watching a movie or when they hold hands it makes me miss when I did have a girlfriend. I miss the holding hands, I miss watching movies together on the couch with my arm around her, I miss the stolen kisses, and most of all I miss having someone that if I saw them that I know would make my day a good day, no matter how bad that day had been.

Bottom line: It's not fair.

Answer the the bottom line: Life's not fair.

*sigh* The least my hormones could do for me is not make it so painfully clear when someone attractive walks by me in produce. I mean I'm fine with a little, but so much of this is complete overkill. Annoying overkill that's driving me mad. I guess I don't know what the future holds, so the most I can do is sit back, hold and tight and let Life do its thing.

Bring it on!

{Peace}

Another Day, Another Entry . . . .

2010-04-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

So my Photoshop class had no formal final, it was, instead, a project. The requirements were that it had to be a collage that "evoked an emotion." My first instinct was to do something depressing, but resisting that emotion, I did something exciting. Everybody likes winning, right? So that's what I did, someone who has won. Since it's my final, a good chunk of my grade is resting on this piece, so I'm worried. But personally, I love it.

You can see the picture large here. So, comment and let me know what you think of it!

{Peace}

Mother, Your Cries Will Not Go Unnoticed . . . .

2010-04-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

So from the bottom of my heart I love my mother but sometimes. . . . Anyway mom, here is my self portrait.

And for the rest of my faithful readers, the original:

My sister probably recognizes this picture since it was taken at her wedding.

Anyhow, here is the original, vector, and the zip with the Illustrator file for download.

Don't forget to comment!

{Peace}

Critic Time . . . .

2010-04-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

So I watched this really sad movie last night called Requiem for a Dream. It was about man in his mid twenties named Harry, his mother named Sara, Harry's friend named Tyrone, and Harry's girlfriend named Marion. It starts off by Harry and Tyrone taking Sara's TV and pawning it for money so they can go get high. Harry's girlfriend is also a druggie and during the summer they are all happy. Money isn't an issue because they have "this guy" that they can get drugs from that's super cheap and they can make double their money.

Sara is obsessed about watching TV because that's all she has left. She is a widow and Harry never comes around anymore. She receives a call from the TV show she watches saying that she has won and gets to be on TV. She obsesses over this call and says she needs to fit into her "red dress" that she wore at Harry's graduation. Since she can't get the zipper up she decides that she needs a diet. Her diet is rough and she isn't seeing the results that she wants so she goes to this doctor that gives her some pills. She is losing weight and has lots of energy but soon she starts taking two, then three, then four because she needs to "fit into my red dress!". After a few months she starts having hallucinations and paranoia. Finally she loses it and is admitted to a hospital. By this time, she has lost it completely. They try everything to try and get her to eat but nothing works so they do electro shock therapy. Her life is pretty much over, she watches TV all day with out caring about anything.

Tyrone and Harry are making tons of money and everything is great until a needed drug deal goes south and they need to get some hits so they dig into there precious money. By this time they have to go all the way to Florida to get the stuff to sell and Harry's arm is jacked up from using a dirty needle and him and Tyrone get thrown in jail. Tyrone is put to work and almost can't handle going cold turkey from his drugs. Harry loses his arm, too.

Marion, after the drug deal goes south, starts sleeping around for money while Tyrone and Harry are going to Florida. She is miserable but she has money.

Pros: This movie is a powerful campaign against drugs. It really shows how broken life can be if you are addicted to drugs. It also has beautiful cinematography and paralleling the four stories at the end is beautiful.

Cons: Lots and lots of language. Other bad stuff. Dark. Not very uplifting.

Requiem for a Dream: 6/10

I bought a new game yesterday called: Heavenly Sword. Awesome game. Gameplay wise it looks like the predecessor to games to Bayonetta. Artistic style, voice acting, graphics and immersion remind me of Uncharted 2. The fighting is beautiful but the walking running actions look stiff and unnatural. At first I hated the Sixaxis movement for guiding your arrows and cannon fire but after you get the hang of it, I wouldn't trade it if I had the choice. Another reason to get a PS3 rather than a Xbox360! The game also shows off the power of the PS3. Nariko looks photo realistic and is EXTREMELY hott. Beautiful game. The game itself is very a immersive experience but you really don't know what's going on. The plot is lacking. Solid game overall.

Heavenly Sword (PS3 only): 8.5/10

Peace.

If You Asked Me . . .

2010-04-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

Why I'm writing a blog entry at 4 in the morning, I wouldn't have a good answer for you. I could say that I couldn't sleep. That wouldn't be entirely true. I could say it was because of stress and that I needed to relieve some of the pressure by writing. Yet again, partially true. But to be honest, what I really think the problem is, is that I'm feeling against towards life in general and that feeling has spread beyond my internal circuits to my external whining circuits (to the chagrin of my readers).

Well, I feel better getting that off my back. I think I will go to bed now.

Peace.

Here I am! Feel free to ignore me . . . .

2010-04-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I been becoming steadily more irritated at the fact that no matter how many ward activities I go to everyone there generally ignores me. I knew that it would be an adjustment coming to college and going to a new ward and such, but to be honest, it's far worse than I could've imagined it would be.

At FHE last night I brought Ashleigh with me to help relieve the fact that no one talks to me and it backfired. Ash was in a mood so I would say things and she would kinda snap at me. If it was just that, I would've been fine, I grew up with a sister so I get it when they are . . . upset easily. Anyway, but she had to leave like half way through the FHE and I couldn't leave because I was going to at least stick around until they presented the old Bishopric their presents (it was a farewell party for my old Bishopric that got released this Sunday). That, and I was supposed to have planned it so I felt obligated to stay. But anyway, after Ashleigh left, I was left all alone. While we had been eating no one else had joined the table so after she left I was sure that someone would say: "Bronson! Come over and sit with us." But this was an erroneous thought and did not come to pass. In fact, I could've not been at the party all together and I doubt anyone would have noticed.

To add insult and injury to insult, I was walking my knee started killing me. The pain got so bad that I started limping and all the people I passed were looking at me like I was some sort of weirdo. I hobbled back to my dorm ashamed and depressed, where me and my PS3 passed the hours away until bedtime with headshots on Modern Warfare 2.

Well, my class is starting now, so I bid you all a found farewell.

Peace.

The End of the Beginning; The Beginning of the End . . . .

2010-04-15T15:44:00.001-07:00

Bittersweet emotions filled me last night when I registered for the last semester that I'm going to take before my mission.

The beginning of the end.

I also realized that as of May 8th I will no longer be a Freshman, but a Sophomore.

The end of the beginning.

It's sad, I have heard that college is the funnest time, but all the memories I have of this semester are homework and late nights doing projects. I didn't have time to get good grades and have fun. A lot of my friends found that out the hard way last semester and I didn't want to fall into that pitfall. What it really boils down to is that I felt far lonelier this semester than last semester because most of friends either: moved away, started dating and/or hang out at all the time with one particular person or got engaged. *sigh* I feel like I have been left alone, very alone. And that I have been left off the social bandwagon. It's just that everyone that I took on a date last semester is either engaged or in some sort relationship. And then there is me.

Well, enough moaning.

I watched a very interesting movie last night called, The Fountain. It was very confusing. The acting was phenomenal. It really allowed Hugh Jackman to show how good of an actor he really is. The cinematography was also incredible. Beautiful use of color, shape, pattern and architecture. The storyline, however, was . . . different. It had three different storylines going on at once. One in modern times, one during Spain's quest for the Fountain of Youth and one . . . Well, I'm not really sure. I couldn't tell if it was within the modern Hugh Jackman's mind, the Conquistador's mind or something else independent of them altogether. Whether this was a metaphorical storyline or a literal journey within the mind, I couldn't tell. I picked up the blu-ray at Best Buy for $9.99 on sale ($20 off!).

Final word: Great acting, even better cinematography, but a hard to follow storyline. 7/10

Nuff said.

Peace.

Oh, Solace . . . .

2010-04-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

When the aching heart has broken for the last time, when all efforts have gone down into the realm of memories, when the time has stopped its ticking, when I have left the last whole part of my soul by the wayside, it will stop hurting.

The burning lusts of the world burn my Spirit with a fevered flame that devours Good and turns it to evil, leaving me a charred mass of hatred and envy. The dark tendrils of Desire slither silently toward the edges of my waking mind, sending me into a panicked frenzy. Casting reason carelessly aside, my battered soul searches for something that cannot be found, for I am cursed. The bitter doubts and regrets consume me, burn me, torture me.

Darkness begins to envelop my eyes, and blur my vision. Tears of lost efforts and useless gestures fill my eyes, breaking whats left of Will into powder with ease. I pause from my efforts and let darkness surround me with its sweet malice. I lay still.

My body suddenly surges with a newfound energy and I throw my eyes open, only to realize that I'm so far from the Light. My hand seeks a to find purchase in the ashen earth. My bloody fingers find a rock; a sharp rock that tears at my aching flesh. I use this leverage to turn my body towards the light, and on my stomach, I begin to crawl. Digging my arms into the burning, ashen earth I pull myself inch, by painful inch. The Dust of Corruption fills my lungs, choking out what little breath I have left. I turn my eyes toward the fading Light. My grip begins to slip and I reach out towards the Light, hoping. As the Light ebbs away, I cry out within me, my soul screaming out in the agony of defeat. The Deep Evil laughs, haughtily, mocking my every cry.

The Light fades into the infinite blackness of Despair and my hopes are crushed along with it. I stop fighting and let go of myself. Flame begins to lick up around my body, burning with the anger of millions.

"Oh Solace, where art thou?"

I lay still forever more.

Drum Roll, Please . . . .

2010-04-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

So the long awaited moment finally arrived, the moment when I finished my realistic object assignment. I feel very accomplished having finally finished it. After almost thirty hours (yes, that's right, 30 hours, the big three and then a fat zero put together in to one number, 30), it's finally done.

So all I had left to do last night was the numbers around the bezel and the screen. I started at 8:00 PM and figured that I do 4 hours and stay up until 2:00 AM if I had to but I didn't close the file until 5:00 AM. So I basically pulled an all-nighter. I would have just gone to bed at 2 but it was due the next morning so I had no choice.

And finally, the moment you all have been waiting for, the unveiling . . . .

I know it may not look like much but here is the original I traced from, line by painful line.

And then finally, I have the wireframe image also. If any of you have worked in Illustrator, you will appreciate this next image.

Although it was hard to do, I did it right, and that feels good. I don't know what else to say. My teacher and my class loved it, so that's a good sign for my grade. So I pretty much have a guaranteed A in that class, so that feels good.

I guess I had good karma in that class today, a cute girl totally talked to me about how much she liked my project. Maybe I will ask her out. I will keep all four of my faithful readers updated. : )

Don't forget to comment! Tell me what you think of it!

Peace.

P.S. The images don't seem to be playing nice so you can go here (Wireframe, Vector, Original) to see them full sized or here to download them (includes Illustrator file with all three pictures).

Fact . . . .

2010-04-08T18:36:00.001-07:00

Fact: I don't want to do my homework.

Fact: When someone hits on me that I'm not attracted to, it's awkward.

Fact: I'm tired and have a headache. : (

Fact: Crayons can melt on me for all I care.

Fact: I just wasted 10 seconds of your life.

Peace.

Yet Again . . . .

2010-04-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

So yet again I'm waiting for an operating system to install, and while I'm waiting I might as well update my blog. But this time I'm not installing Windows, I'm installing MAC OSX. I will admit that it's faster than windows to install but I still like Windows better. It's like a familiar friend to me. I know that the major that I'm going into seems like you would have to have a Mac, but I don't know of a single program that my career uses that is a Mac only application. That being said, Macs do have there upsides. But it's not worth 2, 3 or 4 times the price of a Windows machine. Like the other day I tricked out a Mac Pro and it came to like $17,000. You can by quite the car for that much. I could get a Windows machine with similar specs for 1/2 that price.
Well, it's done installing . . . I guess this is the end until next time.
Peace.

My Tutorial . . . .

2010-04-07T19:21:00.001-07:00

So today my friend and I did a custom Illustrator tutorial for our Illustrator class. This is what we threw together in a couple of hours . . . .

It was inspired by my header of my blog . . . . It's not as cool but it only took me 20 minutes to do. And here is the link to my tutorial that we did. If you are privileged enough to own Illustrator CS4, go ahead and try it out and tell me what you think. If not, feel free to marvel at its awesomeness. : ) Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

Squeezing In My Blog . . . .

2010-04-06T15:45:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been so busy I haven't had much time to do much of anything besides my stupid realistic object assignment (which I have spent 12ish hours working on and am only 2/3 of the way done . . . so depressing). Don't worry though, my faithful readers, I will post a picture of it when I finally get it done. I can't really complain about it too much though. We were given an extension on the due date. It was due Wednesday morning (meaning I would have to pull an all-nighter to finish it tonight), but, in an act of mercy on my teacher's part, he moved it back to Friday morning, giving me 2 more days to get it done . . . . I could be working on it right now but I only have a half hour before I go eat dinner and then I have a night class right after that, so I will just work on it after class tonight. That gives me 4 solid hours of productive time to work on it. I should be able to get a good chunk of it done . . . hopefully.

In other news, I spent this afternoon working on a game for my programming class that puts you in the role of the "Adventurer" that is exploring dark and scary caves with a bow and arrow (that doesn't shoot) in search of gold. But in this cave, there is a Wumpus. A large and scary looking beast (the grahpics make him look more like a giant gingerbread man) that will eat you if your go onto the same square as him. The cave is also full of deadly pits that you will stumble into if you are not careful. The way to avoid these dangers is that on a adjacent square to a pit there is a breeze and a stench for the Wumpus. Although these warnings are good, they don't tell you how many or in what direction they are, leaving you guessing a lot and usually losing because of making a wrong 50/50 decision. And sometimes (or most of the time) the game is impossible to win because the pit generation, Wumpus placement and gold location are random. Although this game is no Oblivion or Final Fantasy it has it's moments when it is fun. It's strangely addictive too.

Another thing that has been weighing on my mind is the future. I know that I shouldn't be thinking about it but I can't help it. Like for instance, I'm going on a mission, but only if it's for the right reasons, because otherwise I might as well not go. So far in my life I have just said that I was going on mission just to escape the prosecution that is given to those who don't go. Although, I will admit, I don't have reason not to go, I won't go unless things are right. It will be my decision made with, and according to, revelation given to me. I won't go for any other reason. I'm not just going to walk into this "just because I'm supposed to," it's too big for that. Because if I do go in the wrong mind set, I won't be a good teacher and will fail to bring the Light of Christ to people, and right now I don't know if I'm ready. So this summer prayer and soulsearching are in order. I will seek for guidance in this matter until I'm satisfied that I have been given sufficient readiness in mind and spirit to make the right (right, meaning feels right, and go forward with no regrets in mind or heart; that's the only way to do it) decision. If all is right, then all will work out, but there is no need to make things harder than they have to be for myself. And if I go I want to spend those two years teaching, preaching and bringing the Light of Christ to people, not spending a year of that figuring it out why in the heck I'm out there. Anyway, you get the point.

I need to go eat now, so . . . . Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

The Trouble With Life Right Now . . . .

2010-04-03T16:45:00.001-07:00

The trouble with life right now is that everytime I think I can relax, take it easy or will be rewarded with surviving this far in life (which should be noted is harder than it sounds). While all my friends are enjoying their fabulous Easter Break, I'm am back home, sure, but with so much homework that I can't even go to the Priesthood session of Conference. The only reason I have time to do this blog entry is that I am waiting for dinner to be ready and I don't want to get started on a project just to get interrupted 15 minutes later. Another troubling thing about today, is that the weather looks and feels like February, which should be noted, is one of my least favorite months.

Although I was able to listen to both sessions of Conference today, the first one I was so tired from trying to catch up with my late nights and massive amounts of stress, that I drifted in and out of sleep during the talks. I feel bad to say the least. The second session I couldn't pay as close attention as I would have like because I had to do 4 collages. And I can't really just tell myself that it will all be better in a month when I get done with school because I'm right back to my sucky job that I had for 2 years. My summer will not only be devoid of fun, I will be friendless. All of my friends that are left at home are either gone on missions or going on missions. And to top it all off I have to go to work knowing that I might have to deal with my ex-girlfriend, who (as far as I can tell) hates me. Things were not pretty last time we talked.

After the summer the stress if far from ending, I have to go to another semester of school and take calculus (which if my other classes don't kill me that one surly will). After that it's the not-so-simple matter of preparing for my Mission. The next two years will be the hardest two years of my life. The very thought is stressful.

After I get back (assuming I don't get eaten by a dog or a large gangster while on my Mission) it's like I have to start living the busiest years of my life. School, job and a vain attempt at a social life and the pressure of having to find someone to marry is almost too much for my mind to handle.

*fail*

Peace

My Nerdy, Guilty Pleasures.

2010-03-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been questing for new music on Pandora and have found some pretty good bands.

Edenbridge.

They have a unique feel to their music. It's ethereal with shifting rhythms and quite a bit of electric guitar. It's very pleasant to listen to if your in a upbeat mood. One drawback I found, however, is that some of their melodies are so strange that they can throw off one's feng shui, as it were.

Luca Turilli's Dreamquest.

This music can be summed up in one word. Epic. It's like every medieval fantasy climax put into music. I will admit, as much as I like it, it makes me feel super nerdy listening to and enjoying it. The main reason being that nothing that they sing about is based on this reality. It reminds me of all those card games where you can buy sets and expansions that have various monsters, spells, wizards, warlocks, witches and creatures from, or based on a fantasy universe. I can just see myself one of these days putting tape around the bridge of my glasses, tucking in my shirt and debating someone on whether or not a Nagual could beat a Warlock with a fully imbued Dragonsword and Deathstaff. I'm such a nerd. That being said, I would suggest giving Luca Turilli a listen to and see if you like that style of music. If you do, please comment and I can tell you more good groups to look for with that same or similar style.

Another reason I feel like a nerd on occasion is because just the other day I was trying to figure out how to get my computer to receive a wireless signal and then pipe that out to a router to wire the signal into my PS3 and wondering if I actually did that if I would loose too much bandwidth to play (and have the connection speed advantage on) Modern Warfare 2.

Even though that last paragraph is Greek to most people, I forget that a lot. When my parents bought a new computer the other day, I asked to look at the specs to tell if it was a good computer or not. When I looked at the page-and-a-half readout of the specs I was disappointed to find some of them missing. Like it didn't have the motherboard socket type or the processor series name or what level of cache it had or how many pins the RAM had. I was also disappointed to find no listing of all the ports and slots on the motherboard. I could go on but I don't want to bore you. My point is, that I pointed this out to my mom and dad and they just gave me a blank stare like I was speaking Martian.

My future wife is going to have to be good at smiling and nodding when I'm talking about computers or else actually understand what I'm saying but that's like Shallow Hal's level of pickyness. Any girl that can speak Nerd, Geek or anything like it is almost always hot in my opinion. Wow, I'm rambling now. I should stop. Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

Mid-Semester Crisis

2010-03-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

So for desperate want of change in my life I decided that I would change that layout of my room to something that I have always wanted to try since I saw someone with this layout. To be honest, I like it better except for the fact that I can no longer put my feet up while I'm on my computer. This simple annoyance is almost enough to change it back right now, but I like the bed so much better where it is minus the footrest feature. Other than that one quibble, it's better. I have less floor space but that doesn't matter because I never use my floor for anything anyway. So, time for the pictures.

Before:

Please note: These pictures where taken at the beginning of the school year and do not accurately depict how my room looked before I changed it. The only thing I changed was the placement of my bed, drawers and DVD tower.

And After:

I hope you enjoyed the tour of my room. I know it looks like a prison cell in these pictures but that's just because I had to use the flash so you can't see that warm light from all of my Christmas lights that I have strewn throughout my room.

Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

So Yet Again I'm Waiting . . . .

2010-03-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

On a sunny Friday afternoon I find myself, once again, sitting here waiting for my virtual machine to update at a snail's pace at the computer lab. So I figured that I would update my blog again and take advantage of the spare time I have.

Today has been . . . interesting. I found out last night that my CS 1400 class had been cancelled because the Dr. Nadauld gave his Inauguration speech and they wanted to give the students a chance to go if they wanted to. Even though it was cancelled, I still went to my friend's class this morning at 9 AM because I can't afford to fall behind in that class. The homework is over my head as it is. I will be extremely happy if I can pull out anything above a B out of that class, and if you know me, and I assume that most of my three readers do, you know that I take well to anything less than an A in any class. It kind of upsets me that I'm stooping so low with this class when it's a class that I should like and have a predisposition to excel at. *sigh* I guess I just can't win everything . . . or anything. Well, I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself, I am in college with a scholarship and good enough grades to keep it as of right now. College isn't a piece of cake like some would think.

I guess I would just like to have perfect grades, have the women love me, have a Lamborghini Diablo GT, know 10 different languages fluently, be able to run a marathon and be able to understand the mysteries of the universe. But I guess that life isn't perfect for a reason. But that reason is escaping me at the moment, is always escaping me . . . . Maybe one day everything will be perfect, maybe. It's so hard to see it now though.

So I have been playing American McGee's Alice I have come to hold in high regard for its originality and gameplay. It takes a darker look at Wonderland but there is a reason behind it. The game takes place years after the two books when she a teenager. In the beginning cut scene there is a fire in her house and she is the only survivor of the fire, but because of this she is riddled with guilt and is unable to deal with life. She tries committing suicide and is prevented and admitted into a mental institution on suicide watch. But while in this variable hell, she is given a stuffed bunny that survived the fire. This awakens all sorts of memories within her sending her spinning into Wonderland. But when she arrives, she realizes that Wonderland is "broken" because her mind is "broken." It suggests very interesting parallels.

So though out the game she is trying to come to grips with the fact that she isn't guilty by rescuing Wonderland from the evil that engulfs it. So the game is really a journey of the mind, a very interesting concept, indeed. I guess that some would find the game disturbing, but I on the other hand, think it fits the idea superbly. In a way, it brings Alice to the same level as the rest of the world be having something bad happen to her. You can relate to her in a way that is unattainable in the fairy tale. Overall, it is a very well designed game with depth to the story. The controls, especially the jump action could have used work, but besides that I don't have many complaints.

I also helped out with the Institute's food day today. I helped clean and put away tables, wash dishes and just help clean up. It felt good to do some service. And although I didn't come as early as I could have, I stayed until everything was done.

Wow, this Malicious Software Removal Tool is taking forever, it probably has been going for a good 45 minutes. So even though it's not done yet, my patience is. So I will sign off and hope that my select group of readers will comment.

Peace.

So While I'm Waiting . . . .

2010-03-18T16:12:00.001-07:00

While I'm waiting for my Windows virtual machine to finish installing and updating I decided that I will use the time to update my blog . . .

I went and saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D last night. The 3D was cool but I don't know if it was worth $9 a pop. My 3D glasses were not worth $1.50 when the movie is already $1.50 over priced. If I went again I wouldn't go to the 3D showing if I had the option. The other problem was that took a date and so I almost spent $20 on just tickets. Thankfully, neither she nor I wanted snacks for I saved x amount of dollars there. But the movie itself was impressive from a visual technologies student's stand point. Thousands of dollars must have went into the Cheshire cat alone. And he was barely in any of the movie (one of my quibbles, because he is my favorite character in the Alice in Wonderland story). The main problem with the movie was the lack of plot. It stole elements from the two books and the original movie but it have been better off copying one of the story completely. There was one central problem and that was it. Nothing really made you feel tense or on edge because none of scenes or the story suggested or eluded to any such suspense. It irked me. Furthermore, the central problem of the plot was already decided and the outcome was set in stone at the very beginning of the movie, removing any tense aspect.

Another problem with the movie was a disturbing lack of character development. The characters just seemed like whimsical shells walking around, doing certain things for reasons beyond the knowledge and scope of the viewer. Too much was also unsaid and unexplained in the movie. Like in one scene Alice falls asleep when the viewer would assume that it was an intense situation, and when she wakes up, things take a turn for the better. That's poor story telling in my opinion.

People say it was too weird, but I say it wasn't weird enough. They didn't finish the idea make it their own. They should have thought up a COMPLETELY new plot or left an original one alone. The acting was pretty good, but like I said before, you didn't know the reasons behind any of it, except the vague references to the original movie. They tried and miserably failed at introducing back stories for The Mad Hatter and The White Queen. Also, the White Queen's makeup was . . . terrible. Not only did it make her look evil, it made her look goth.

Those things being said, the movie had some definite good points. Visually, it was amazing. Between the 3D and the millions of dollars that went into the effects it was amazing. It all had a legit feel to it. The second to last scene was amazing even though it had a predictable outcome.

But movie aside, the date itself was . . . I dunno. I guess I will have to see where it goes. I have my doubts though. : ( It was terribly hard to tell what she was thinking, or feeling. And I felt like I was getting mixed signals . . . . Well, anyway, I need to ask her out on a real date instead of like a more of a hang out, but I still am apprehensive about the possible outcome. I'm not out to just get some or anything, but I'm tired of people going on one date with me and then giving me some excuse about why they can't go on any other dates with me and then not too long after that they are either engaged or have a boyfriend, because that proves that they lied to me and they just didn't like me or think I wasn't a good enough person. I'm sick of being judged by people, I thought if I got out of Sanpete I could escape some of it but I was wrong. I wish I was the way I used to be. When everyone trusted me and thought I was nice. I must have lost something along the way and now give off the vibe of being out to swindle people. I don't feel different on the inside but something must have changed. *sigh* I can't win. And I have to go to class. *sigh* Wish me luck.

peace.

The Simpsons

2010-02-26T13:14:00.000-08:00

So recently I have been watching what few episodes of The Simpsons that are on Hulu, and to my surprise, it is quite a wholesome show considering some of the other crap that's on TV these days. Homer loves his wife and his kids and even though he isn't the brightest crayon in the box, he still does nice things for them. It encourages good family values, which surprised me. Maybe some people still care about the family.

Swear words are sparse on the show which is really nice for a change (i.e. you hear more swear words out of little kids these days). And I was very proud of Homer for reprimanding Bart for using foul language. The reason all of this surprised me was because when I was growing up, I was never allowed to watch the Simpsons because it was a "bad show." I thought it would be similar to Family Guy, which is just a long string of poorly executed dirty jokes and insulting, stupid stunts. The only resemblance to the shows are the animation style, and that's even a stretch.

So in a word, I have gained respect for the Simpsons.

Peace.

Why . . . ?!

2010-02-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

Why do I have a horrible knot in my back? Why are my friends sick or ignoring me? Why can't I concentrate? Why am I not tired, having only 4 hours of sleep last night? Why does everything feel weird? Why am I almost falling apart? Why can't I catch up with this homework? Why do I feel like I don't belong? Why all this shunning? Why all this hate? Why this pain? Why can't I find a place of Zen? Why can't I find balance? Why do I feel so frustrated?Why can't I find the other half of myself that I had last week? Why do I always get lied to? Why? Why?! Why?!?

Ug . . . . .

The Hole

2010-02-16T01:57:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when you have a hole, it can't be filled. As much as you would like to you can't replace what was in the hole. Like, take for instance, a hole in the ground. Once you take out the dirt out of the hole you can't put all the dirt back in the hole exactly the way it was. Why? because that's millions upon millions of little pieces of rock, sand and dirt that all have to go back in the same order and place. The same holds true for most other kinds of holes too.

Another frustrating thing about holes is that you can't make something that didn't fit into it in the first place go in. Take, for example, that funny block game that we all had as kids. It was the cube that had the holes of the different shaped blocks and you had to match the blocks with the holes. No matter how hard you tried you could never fit the square into the round hole and visa-versa.

So what, may I ask, happens when you have a hole such as these two examples? A hole that not only has to have all the right parts, but also the right order of these parts? Disaster.

What if you had a hole such as these and not only was it impossible to fill, but it also had been there for so long and was so deep that its very existence caused pain? What if every time you walk out the door you fall into this hole? So to fix this problem, you put up cement barricades, orange cones, caution tape and warning signs. But this doesn't fix the problem. Now, every time you look in the general direction of the hole you are reminded of how deep, dangerous and painful the hole is.

Still after all of this you must seek another answer. Maybe, perhaps, you could use force to remove the hole all together by forcing objects that do not fit the hole into the hole? A possibility. You try with all your might to push dirt, rocks, cement, water, mud, plastic, air, gasoline, molten metal, wood, scrap and carpet of all things into the hole. The results are abysmal. One after the other, each thing just blows up in your face making your hole all that more deep and ghastly looking.

All this has made you very tired and discouraged. You sit, taking a break from your labors. While you rest and without your knowing, a nasty, gnawing, darkness oozes forth from the pit. It surrounds you and before you can do anything, it, in one sweeping gesture, brings to memory all the joy there was when you didn't have a hole. With it's emptiness it mocks your feeble efforts at trying to erase the gapping maw. You try to deny it's logic, but you cannot.

"It's all your fault," the wicked voice whispers in your ear.

"But I was blind!" you exclaim in earnest. "I didn't know what it was doing!"

"That doesn't matter. You are the one to blame! If YOU hadn't have messed up, you would still have everything that you lost," the voice says with thundering power.

"That may be true, but nothing like that is meant to last. It would've have ended one way or another. With my help or no."

"But just think if you had been more careful!" the voice screeches, reaching some twisted crescendo. "You would have enjoyed more!"

"You are wrong, Demon. That is not what I regret. I regret something that you cannot understand."

"And what is this that you regret? I have my doubts that I won't understand."

"I regret not always having these memories. It was the best decision that I ever made to do these things so I could learn from my mistakes, and grow and change for the better. Sure I miss having the wholeness like I used to have, but I was so naive back then. I am much wiser now. And missing this doesn't make me a dammed soul as you would have me believe. It makes me stronger," you pause, choosing your next words carefully. "I command you to bother me no further, Devil. I am free from you!" you shout the last words in a triumphant call that shakes the ground, releasing the Demon's hold on you.

Rejected, the voice slinks back away into the darkness that it came from leaving behind a trail of memories, good memories that it could no longer hold from the light that is coming from within. But, although the light is coming from within, it did originate from there, it is coming from a greater source, somewhere higher, where all good comes from . . . . . . . . . . . .

Work In Progress . . .

2010-02-14T23:31:00.000-08:00

Time to update.

So I'm home for the long weekend. It's been rather enjoyable to eat my mom's food, sleep in a bed that is actually soft and take full advantage of the woodstove in the living room. But all good things must come to an end, and sadly my time is almost up.

One not-so-enjoyable feature of this vacation has been all the homework that I have had to do. Three assignments for one class is over kill in my opinion. I don't like that class . . . . But, since I have slaved away under the whip of the A, I will share my small triumphs with my loving fans (all three of you)!

Here is my first piece. . .

The amount of work I put into this picture was not quite worth the result. I would have been if I had know what I wanted and the proper technique to get there, but alas, I had neither when I blithely started my project. It was for a typography assignment.

"A character made completely from a font."

Notice how is says A font? Yeah, that's right I did all of this with one font and the only thing in the picture that is not made out of words is a rectangle that I used for a clipping mask for the inside of hood. I'm very proud of this little piece of work. I guess I should be for 15+ hours of work spent on this bad boy. Well, enough about the technique. On to the content.

The hooded figure in the center is a representation or Altair or Etzio from the Assassin's Creed series. The reason I say either is because they both have the same hood, which is the focal point. The title of the picture, "Nothing is true, everything is permitted." is used several times in the games with considerable impact on the storyline. Because of this, I figured that it was an appropriate title. In addition, I don't think the phrase is trademarked, thus giving my artwork a legal legitimacy. That little bit was for you, sister! : )

The background words are from Lorem Ipsum. If you don't know what that website is, Google it. It will be worth your time. All of 2 seconds of it. The inside hood words/face words is made up of a phrase that I made up but could have easily been in the game. "Come, old man, and I will give you death." To be honest, it is a kick butt phrase in Italian, as far as looks go, at least. His mouth or teeth is the word "morte," which in Italian is death or dead. I thought that this little touch added depth and significance to the picture because he is an assassin and death is what he deals.

The rest of the hood is a quote from the game: "Non temete l'oscurità - accettate il suo abbraccio," Which means roughly, "Do not fear death - but welcome it's embrace." A very beautiful phrase in my opinion. So there you have it, my massive project.

This was a much smaller project that I did tonight that I have to present in class. It's based off a tutorial that I found on the internet.

I think that final effect is pretty cool. It's not perfect. I messed up a few places, but I'm not going to tell you because then you would notice. : P

I think the coolest part about it is the marks around the edge. They are so exact, like a watch. And if you know me, you know that I LOVE watches. The compass star in the middle is pretty cool too, and the shadows give a nice touch. All in all I'm happy with it.

Anyway, I have to go back to good ol' St. George tomorrow, and I have to get up early. : ( Last night I get to sleep in a legit bed for three weeks.

Well, don't forget to leave feedback, my beloved readers! That's the only reason I ever update this thing, is to get comments, so if you want this perpetuated, leave comments! Tell me what you think about my projects, constructive criticism is welcome.

Night, people.

Peace.

Now I Know Why Garfield Hates Mondays . . . .

2010-02-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was just about the wost day ever.

So I need to fill my antibiotic, because it will be out tomorrow. I drive down to Wal-Mart, get out of my car, walk into the store and realize that I forgot my prescription bottle. I turn around, walk back out to my car, get in, drive all the way back to my dorm (hitting almost every red light on the way), run and get my prescription bottle, get back in my car, drive back down to Wal-Mart, get out, walk back in the store, go the pharmacy counter, tell her I want it filled and she tells me that I'm out of refills. Sucks, huh? So, I call my doctor, ask the secretary if the doctor could fax the prescription to Wal-Mart and she tells me that the doctor isn't in, but when she gets in tomorrow, she will have her fax it over.

If you can imagine, by this time, I'm getting pretty frustrated with the whole fiasco. So, trying not to blatantly waste a dollar in gas and almost an hour of my time, I buy a door mat and Assassin's Creed for PS3. I drove home feeling disgruntled.

This whole retarded fiasco was just another stress on top of the 60% that I had gotten earlier that day on a quiz. For some stupid mistakes, nonetheless. So I play my new game for a while and then go eat dinner and by the time that I'm done with dinner I have a splitting headache. I lay down in a vain attempt to try get rid of my headache. I fall asleep for WAY too long. I wake up at 10 PM. Day is just about shot, but that's a good thing, right? Nothing else can go wrong, right? Wrong!

So I play my new game for awhile more then decide that I should have a shower. I take a shower. But before I go to bed, I decided to sync some music to my MP3 player. BIG mistake. I plug in my Zune and wait for the computer recognize it, but it doesn't. I unplug it, and plug it back in. Nothing. I repeat this process at least 28 times before I get so fed up that I Google it. I can't find anything that helps me. After about 2 unsuccessful hours of trying to fix it, I head to bed, tired, ticked off and frustrated at about 4:30 AM. Yeah, my Monday sucked.

10 AM.

My alarm beeps. I drag myself out of bed and to class. I try to learn what seems like an infinite amount of Linux commands while just struggling to say awake. I enjoy Institute, it's a good lesson. I drive to Denny's to get their free Grandslam deal. I drive around the parking lot, realize there is about a 2 hour wait just to get a seat and promptly drive back down the hill to my dorm.

I walk down to the cafe and eat a Countryfried Steak sandwich. It was ok. I call Wal-Mart, only to find out that there is still no prescription. I call the doctor's office. They tell me that the doctor's kids are sick and she wont be in until Thursday. *sigh* Story of my life.

But, on the upside of today, I got a date (even though I can't go to the dance this weekend because I'm going home). Bright spot! I have an art assignment to do tonight . . . not so bright spot. : ( Oh, well.

. \) (/

.(o.o) <----------------- This is Mr. Bunny.

o(__)o

.-- --

Ok, sorry, that was really random. Well, I on that note, I bid you all farewell.

Goodnight and good luck.

P.S. Don't forget to comment!!!

Procrastinates Homework

2010-01-27T19:26:00.000-08:00

This blog entry is an official procrastination of homework.

That being said, today has been ok. Yes, just ok. Nothing amazing, just ok. It's sad, I've grown to dread my art class. The projects that she has us do are pretty boring and not very fun. I guess that I just like computers too much.

Honestly though, I'm may be artistic but I'm not crafty or anything and she wants us to do all these collages and stuff (I hate collages above all that lives because they look so retarded). It's a waste of perfectly good glue and paper and time. Anyway, I don't mean to say that she is a bad teacher or anything just that views art different then I do. She is actually a pretty good teacher . . . not to mention pretty . . . but that is besides the point.

Speaking of pretty . . . That girl in my IT 1100 class looked really pretty yesterday. I'm friends with her on facebook now. I'm doing baby steps. Next quest is to get her number, and then the first date and then . . . I will see if I can even get that far before I get shut down. I feel bad that she was in my super boring class last semester and I didn't even sit by her even though it would have been the perfect opportunity to get to know her. I did sit by her the last day of that class last semester though. So that was a step in the right direction. When I talked to her that last day I think she realized that I was more willing to put my neck out there. But she still is a mystery to me. Even though we are friends on facebook I still don't even know if she is single or not. All I know is that she is only two days older than me. I thought that little fact was pretty cool. You could celebrate both our birthdays on the 23rd and it would be splitting the difference. : ) Sorry, I'm rambling.

Anyway, I'm over half done with my huge project that is due in my VT 2500 class. I will have to post the picture up when I finally get it done. We'll see if that happens. Oddly enough, I don't hate that class anymore, it's just I think that the work load is not equal to the level of class. But, that being said, I don't like my teacher's teaching method. I don't learn a whole lot.

Well, I think I have procrastinated my project for quite long enough.

Hopefully, I can get Cute-IT-1100-girl's phone number tomorrow. : ) Wish me luck!!!

Keep the comments coming!

Peace.

sigh

2010-01-25T20:14:00.000-08:00

Where to begin? I guess I will get everyone up to speed. I am attending Dixie State College, I'm single and wish I wasn't. But, what can you do? Anyway, maybe, just maybe I can next weekend. There is this one girl in my IT 1100 class . . . . *lost in thought*

My classes are good, especially my IT 1100 class (see above). ; ) Well, that is, except for my VT 2500 class. That teacher is . . . not the best at teaching, to put it nicely. We show up for class and . . . guess what? We learn nothing. Nothing, I tell you! Today was supposed to be a "work day" but we ended up only having 10 minutes to work on our huge project because he was blabbering on about the screen and multiply tool in Illustrator (it's an Illustrator class). He is also maddeningly unhelpful when you have a problem.

He also thinks it's his duty to pick on me. I was sitting there, looking straight at him, listening to every word he was saying and he looked right at me and said: "You doing okay there, Bronson?" in a tone that suggested that he thought I was doing something wrong or wasn't paying attention or something.

It's frustrating just to think that I might not get a good grade because he just doesn't like me. I need an A out of that class. I'm good with Illustrator, I just hope that he recognizes it and doesn't hate me for it. But, keep in mind that I said good, not great, not amazing, just good. But for an undergrad class "good" should be good enough, I hope.

Other tid-bits . . . . I'm sick. It's no fun. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. A sore throat, stuffy nose, and a fever is a bad combination . . . . I got 22 kills (a personal record) on Modern Warfare 2 online. It was a good deathmatch. I was on a role. Something, that yet again, I'm good at and nothing more. It's depressing when you realize that you are mediocre at everything, or at least, that's what it feels like sometimes.

I need to go on a date . . . . Scratch that. Going on a date is the single best way of smashing one's confidence to a pulp. It's not the activity that does it, it's the girl that usually does it. You see, I have been on quite a few dates with girls, but after we go on one date, one of the following things happen.

1) She gets a boyfriend very soon afterward (e.g. 1 week or less).

2) We have a chat and she tells me that she can't date me for some reason or another (this one is the most common I think I'm up to 3 girls that have done that to me).

3) She tells me that she just isn't into me enough to go on anymore dates.

4) She already HAS a boyfriend and thought we were just hanging out (WTH???? Who thinks that? Seriously?).

5) She avoids me like I have the bubonic plague (i.e. stops calling, texting, talking, making eye-contact and various other forms of communication).

Those are the 5 most common that I can think of. As you can see, I'm apprehensive, to say the least, when asking someone out. Most of the time when I think that flirting is working with a girl, she will either tell me that she has a boyfriend or something to that effect. And to be honest, most girls that think are flirting with me have rings on. >: ( Don't do that to a poor single guy! We don't like being tantalized just to have it be unattainable. I don't care that you're married, in fact, I'm glad that you are. I'm happy for you, really. Just, please, please, PLEASE don't flirt if you are married. Sorry for that little rant. It's pet peeve of mine.

On another note, I played Mirror's Edge last night or should I say this morning? : P It was just the demo but I liked it. I might buy it. Someday, when I'm rich (that was a joke, HA HA, fat chance). I will personally give a dollar to anyone that can tell me where that quote came from. You will also have my permanent respect (Offer ends February, 1st, 2010 [anytime after that you will just get my respect]).

It's amazing that since I don't have an English class this semester I find typing much more enjoyable. Strange how that works. I also find it amazing that you just don't get hungry when you are sick (at least I don't). I ate lunch at noon today and haven't had anything but orange juice since. Anyway, speaking of which, I think I will go eat something so I can get better. I hope you all have enjoyed this unfortunate tale concerning the angelic boy's piece of his life (I hope that made sense).

I love you, Reader.

Let the comments flow!!!

Peace.

My Trip.

2009-05-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

Wow. So behind. Where to begin? Well, I guess I will write about my trip up north.

I arrive at Colby's house at 3:30 and he is putting a new trigger in his paintball gun when I get there. That took up a good chunk of the afternoon, and it ended up not working. We then bummed around for the rest of the day, played some Halo, and then went to bed.

Saturday, I wake up at like 11, just when Colby was getting home from mowing lawns and I have a quick breakfast of muffins and OJ. Colby and I then play some basketball and some catch with a nurf football. It was fun even though it was pretty hot. After that we had lunch of fresh bread and strawberry jam and then we got ready and left to go paintballing at like 3. Paintballing was fun except the fact that I never got anyone out. I feel almost like I wasted all my paint and CO2. But dispite that I still had fun. After paintballing we went back to his house and changed and then went to a bonfire at one of his friend's house. That was pretty boring. Except there was this girl there. Her name was Alyssa Wood. Colby, she and I talked for like 2 hours. Then we went home and showered and I got to talk to my older cousin, Britny. It had been ages since I had last talked to her. I then went to bed.

Sunday was a good day overall. I went and saw my cousin at his Missionary Farewell and hung out with my cousins, and then I drove home. Anyway, yeah it was fun and I'm glad I got to go up there.

I'm going on a date this afternoon with Jessica Draper. I hope it's fun. I'm also hoping it will work this time around . . . . Anyway, that's a story for another time. I will write more soon. ^_^

Ug . . . .

2009-05-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

Grrrrrr..... My clutch cylinder blew on me again. That little incident is going to cost me my next paycheck. I'm not a happy camper. And today of all days for it to go out. The day I'm going up north to see my cousin, Colby. I guess I will just have to beg mom and dad to let me drive the Porsche 944 up there. I would just drive mine but it can't be good on the clutch to have it all let out at once all the time. Not to mention the transmission, linkage, engine and all the rest of the car. But, I don't really want to drive the Porsche because the stereo stinks and the stereo in my car is pretty good and I can hook up my MP3 player up to it. Oh well, I will just have to see what mom and dad say about it. I better go pack.

After All Hope Has Faded.

2009-05-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

After all hope has faded into the weary darkness of a seeking mind, I wonder where tranquility can be found. Can redemption be gained from this endless searching of the inky blackness? Can one find solace in the eternal pain of this world?

These chains of hell that surround me are dragging, ever pulling, my thoughts and my soul down into the infernal abyss. I struggle. But can one as wicked as I ever escape this torment? I wonder if mortals can find the truth in His Holy Fury, or will we ever wonder?

The light and joy of this life has left me in a most hurried fashion, leaving me with nothing except my own accursed thoughts. My mind, being laden down with the frenzied attitude of this life, has been pushed beyond breaking, pushed into the realm of unholy sorrow and left there for dead.

Even the demonic scavengers of the infernal pit pass me by seeing my soul in the ultimate state of misery that it's in.

I must keep searching for redemption in this abysmal life.

Sorry For The Delay.....

2009-05-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

My game came (Warhammer 40000: Dawn Of War: Dark Crusade). It's way fun, kinda like a cross between Risk and the first Dawn Of War. Anyway, work was slow today, thankfully, so I was able to super-fill everything for Josh in the morning. I guess the CEO from AG is coming down to walk the store with Terrel tomorrow, so Randy wanted everything to look nice for that.

It makes me mad that the weeks are slowly slipping away and I can't seem to get another date with Caylee. Either she works or I work or I can't find anyone to double with. In short, it's retarded. . . . I really hope the Nuggets can sweep the Mavericks tonight. That would make me so happy. Anyway, I will write more soon.

Work, Work

2009-05-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

So work was murder today.

So I get to work and the note on the whiteboard says that I need to breakdown a pallet of potatoes and onions. So I look over at the pallet and it's, get this, 7 feet high! It took me almost an hour to get rid of all of it. So then that put me behind for the rest of my shift. Even though we got a load of freight in today, we ran out of strawberries an hour into my shift, and they are on the ad, and we wont get any more until friday. It was just crazy today.

I ended up texting Caylee after work, and we had a good conversation. I'm still really stressed when I talk/text her because I don't want to mess everything up. Anyway, I'll worry about this tomorrow. Good night.

On The First Day He Created The Blog . . . .

2009-05-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

My first post! Yay! ^_^

Well I don't really want to go to work today. Yesterday was slow but I doubt that today will be because the new ad starts today. . . . And strawberries are on sale. That always brings people in. Mini watermelons too. Which, I find strange that it's on sale. It seems out of season. But, I'm probably wrong. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to hang with my friend, James. Well, more like help him fix his lawn mower. When his graphics card comes though, we are going to have LAN parties until our eyes fall out. That's going to be very fun. I guess I ought to text Caylee today. I don't text her sometimes because I'm afriad that I will say the wong thing and she will hate me forever and never go out with me ever agian. That would totally suck, because I like her quite a bit and I really want this to work out. As in her not hating me and doing stuff with me. She Is the first real prospect since Diana got a new boyfriend. . . . . . Ug, that still makes me mad. Anyway, I had better go eat something before I pass out from lack of food. Wish me luck at work!

Pieces of My Life

Because Life Needs Updating Too . . . .

A Moment . . . .

Bric-a-Brac From My Life . . . .

A Visual Update To My Life . . . .

A Very Long String of Pointless Letters . . . .

Summer Has Come And Gone . . . .

Why Run?

Hello Again . . . .

Your Worst Nightmare . . .

Time, Time For A Change . . . .

"Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 . . .

I Just Remembered . . . .

If I Were . . . .

Yet Again . . . .

The Fruits of My Labors . . . .

This Song Gives Me Goosebumps . . . .

I'm Thankful For . . . .

CSS Is An Unwieldy Beast . . . .

And now . . . .

Ella Enchanted: A Twist in the Story

Better Than The Hype . . . .

Happiness Comes in Many Different Flavors . . . .

Birthing Creativity: Animation Mother

A Twisted Stab at Food Review: The Bent Fork

Note to Self on Staying Alive . . . .

You Should All Be Thankful That I'm Writing This Instead of Playing Fallout 3 . . . .

My Free Time . . . .

Of Work and Watches and Other Things . . . .

Thoughts . . . .

Another Day, Another Entry . . . .

Mother, Your Cries Will Not Go Unnoticed . . . .

Critic Time . . . .

If You Asked Me . . .

Here I am! Feel free to ignore me . . . .

The End of the Beginning; The Beginning of the End . . . .

Oh, Solace . . . .

Drum Roll, Please . . . .

Fact . . . .

Yet Again . . . .

My Tutorial . . . .

Squeezing In My Blog . . . .

The Trouble With Life Right Now . . . .

My Nerdy, Guilty Pleasures.

Mid-Semester Crisis

So Yet Again I'm Waiting . . . .

So While I'm Waiting . . . .

The Simpsons

Why . . . ?!

The Hole

Work In Progress . . .

Now I Know Why Garfield Hates Mondays . . . .

*Procrastinates Homework*

*sigh*

My Trip.

Ug . . . .

After All Hope Has Faded.

Sorry For The Delay.....

Work, Work

On The First Day He Created The Blog . . . .

Procrastinates Homework

sigh